My Resolve
My resolve will prevail. It will.
Sometimes you wonder if it’s enough to say that you’re happy even if you know deep inside you’re not. It’s a bit sad to think that no matter how much we try to feel better, when we remember what troubled us, it ends up making us feel bad again. Sometimes you just need a medium to vent. To vent out your worries, frustrations, anxieties, mistakes, regrets, desperation, inability, sadness, anger, disappointments, stress and all that would seem like needless baggage.
I know for a fact that I’m in a position in which even the slightest wavering of feeling would spell doom for me, and quite possibly my loved ones. I fear that my resolve is slowly weakening. I don’t want that to happen. Somehow, my resolve is the only thing keeping me sane. Sane, and perchance, grounded, leveled in fact. It’s the last thread in my psyche. And if that thread be cut, I know not what to do, or how to act, or feel, or even live.
I wonder now if ever I make that mistake, will I live to regret it? I just can’t imagine what will happen if all hell breaks loose. I don’t want to assume, I don’t want to expect, I don’t want to dream. It will never be a choice I will choose to make, no matter how sweet it is to give in.
We choose to hate because it’s our only option. For without that hate, a futile longing will only continue to progress. We know not the ripples of our actions but these ripples mean nothing compared to the undulations the mistake we will make, may produce.
My resolve will prevail. It must.
