A little thinking over…
Recently, I was asked by a confidant, “Pano mo napapagtiyagaan si Melai?” I smiled and I didn’t answer - changing the subject.
When I got home I processed it a little. I wondered, “pinagtitiyagaan ko ba talaga siya? Hindi ba baliktad?” I thought to myself, I think I should give her props, because I think she’s actually the one who puts up with me.
I’m impulsive, insensitive, mean, inconsiderate, dense, slow, lazy, unmotivated. I fall asleep even when we’re still talking. I’m extremely selfish, especially when I force what I want. I’m not honest when I’m inconvenienced sometimes. I say I make mistakes but they actually aren’t - they’re just because I am who I am. I don’t make enough time for her, and some people think I’m taking her for granted because she’s my girlfriend already.
And in hindsight, I think I don’t pay her enough in return. Sometimes… I actually don’t tell her I love her, because I don’t want her to find out how much I worship her. So I suppose I should apologize.
Sorry Melai… I know I have made lots of mistakes, and I’ve hurt you more than once, but I try to apologize and make it up to you, always more than I should. And thank you, for putting up with who I am, and not trying to change me. Stay awesome. I love you.
